So, Ethan has finally brought up the subject of wanting a little brother...
YIKES!
I have purposely never brought these kinds of things up in front of him,
because I don't want to ask the poor kid, "hey! So, do you want a little brother or sister"?
Why, you ask...?
because I don't want to ask the poor kid, "hey! So, do you want a little brother or sister"?
Why, you ask...?
Because I CAN'T DELIVER!
I was wondering when the day would come that he would ask about having a brother or a sister...
& I don't think he really understands completely what it means to not have one...
but, he sees his cousins and his friends...and most of them all have brothers or sisters...
so, naturally, I knew at some point, questions would come up...
Lord...I really wish I could give it to him...
let me tell you what a terrible feeling it is to not only want something so badly yourself...
but now your child wants it too...
but now your child wants it too...
I always imagined myself telling him all about who was in mommy's belly
and what it would mean to be a Big Brother...
and what it would mean to be a Big Brother...
I can just picture him being so kind and gentle with the baby...
or talking to my belly while sitting on the couch...
or talking to my belly while sitting on the couch...
I just don't know...
I just don't know if he will ever be a Big Brother...
I wish I could tell him yes...
Just hang on a bit and Mama will give you one...
I'm still trying...
I can't not try...
I don't know how not to...
{oh, and by the way, he doesn't really want a baby sister...}
{he really wants a brother...just in case you are listening God...}
Tara, all I can say is we are sharing the exact same thing right now. For years Sandy and I dreamed about starting our family and sharing the abundance of love we had for each other with our own child. Trust me, it was not an easy road to get to that point. But the second our Jack Ryan was born was the absolute,most amazing moment ever in my life. I was a mom, she was a mom, and here was our little man....an ABSOLUTE dream come true. We always said if we could be blessed with just one child that we wanted so badly, we would never complain if we couldn't for some ungodly reason have another. But, we are not complaining, we just want, we are so very thankful and so the luckiest on earth, but we want a sibling for Jack. We want him to be the big brother. He wants it, and he asks for it, and right now for whatever reason we can't give him what he wants. We can't have what we want. I share in your pain, and I wish for both of us that it could just be so easy, like it is for so many. I dream of the day that we become a family of 4! If we remain 3, I guess that is what's meant to be, but until then we can dream. However, I want to lose the constant in the back of my mind. I won't part with any, none of Jack's baby things. I often wonder if I could just get rid of it, maybe luck would change and we'd go broke buying new stuff!hehe I think about seeing another little boy in his tiny,little Gap tees and little jammies, or better yet a little girl decked out in blue Nike shorts!:) Jack talks about silly names to name his brother and in my head, I am thinking ya know what, if we had a brother you maybe could name him that! I know in my heart that for both of us, that day is going to come, we are going to have that little brother annoying the crap out of our big guys...I just know it!!!!!!!!! HUGS! Toni :)
ReplyDeleteTara, your little E is so blessed to have you as a mother, your love for him is so clear in everything you do. I believe with all my heart that there is a little brother or sister for him who is just waiting to enter your lives at the right time.
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